The VU is a filter level monitor, it goes bang only on piano recording, I would make those for anybody.
Yes, I hear your equipment is voiced for bagpipe reproduction! :O
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre.After the community sing song led by Alice at the pianoIt was time for the Star of the Show-Claude the Hypnotist!Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude.The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocketA beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain."I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see."It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations"Said Claude.He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch"The audience became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth.The lights twinkling as they were reflected from it's gleaming surfaces.A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch.And then,Suddenly,The chain broke!!!The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact""SHIT" said Claude.It took them three days to clean the Senior Citizens' CentreAnd Claude was never invited to entertain again
With the holidays upon us I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.Two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a taxi home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but since it was a taxi they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise as I had never driven a taxi before. I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.Merry Christmas!
The Cardiologist and the Mechanic. A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage,
"Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working on a Honda .
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,
"So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.
So how is it that I make $24,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic ....
"Try doing it with the engine running."
A man goes to the doctor feeling very ill. The doctor checks him over and says,
"I'm Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. It's called Yellow 24, because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There's no known cure, so just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth."
So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the bad news. Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he's never been there with her before.
They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners and wins £50. Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins £350.
Then he gets the full house and wins £1000.
Then the National Game comes up and he wins that as well - winning £400,000!
The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says, "Son, I've been here 20 years and I've never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full house and the National Game on the same card. You must be the luckiest man on Earth!"
"Lucky?" the bloke screams, "Lucky? I'll have you know I've got Yellow 24."
"F*** me," says the bingo caller, "You've won the raffle as well!"
Vegetarians angry at discovery that Tesco Value Nut Roast contains Horse Chestnuts!
On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "that's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," were televised to earth and heard by millions. But just before he re-entered the Lander, he made the enigmatic remark - "Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky." Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival soviet cosmonaut.However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian orAmerican space programs. Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the - 'Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky' statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. On July 5, 1995, in Tampa bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question about Mr. Gorsky to Armstrong. This time he finally responded because Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could now answer the question. Here is the answer to "who was Mr. Gorsky": In 1938, when he was a kid in a small mid-western town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by their bedroom window. His neighbors were Mr. And Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs.. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "SEX! You want SEX?! You'll get sex when the kid next door walks onthe moon!" It broke the place up. Neil Armstrong’s family confirmed this is a true story.