Naga..the Grudge match!

PACPAC
edited January 2016 in Members' blogs
Wish me luck folks...

I'm going in and to hell with the consequences! 

This time I've doubled the Naga content as I'm using the theory derived from a story learnt in my early motorbiking days.

This story is about a man called "Crasher", a BSA riding lunatic who's sole objective was to crack a ton on the North Circular at every opportunity irrespective of traffic.  He'd often be seen at his local caff', plastered up or on crutches, the result of what he called "Crasher's Theorem" or "CT" for short.  (probably where "CT scan" later was derived from...ahem).

When asked why, he replied along the lines that if someone pulls out in front of you and you brake, then you compress the front suspension, hit the car and likely cave your skull in....WHEREAS...if you crack the throttle open wide when faced with a "puller-outer-in-fronter" chances are you'll be thrown clear.

When it was pointed out to the hapless Crasher that he was on crutches with his leg in plaster to his knee, he replied "see...it works!!!...otherwise I'd have been a gonner when that Morris minor pulled out driven by a little old lady".   (Who it seems was later treated for shock at the sight of a grinning maniac cartwheeling over her bonnet).

Anyhow, one day, Crasher wasn't at the caff' at his usual place and when the waitress was asked, she said that he'd been in an accident, a serious one.  He'd entered a roundabout on the North circular after having his BSA Gold Flash restored from the Morris Minor prang, when riding like a nut job, a pretty little Vespa. festooned with wing mirrors and sporting a skinny "Mod" in the pilots seat unwisely wobbled into Crasher's path.  With a wicked glint in his eye, he cracked the throttle open....and...well, Crasher is no longer with us.  Point is, I reckon he had something in that theory of his.

Therefore, this evening, I have gone from using one little incendiary fruit pod named the "Norfolk Naga" to two in the sincere belief that instead of leaping about the kitchen in pain if I rub an eye or lick a finger after chopping said wicked shrivelled little lump up, and later remark over polite conversation with our visitors that "my, isn't this a little spicy!?" (as steam vents from every orifice), then using two will negate the burning stage completely and bring me straight to total paralysis of the taste buds...and anything else that happens to come into contact with such a nutritious meal.  I am confident that this approach is the way to go, but...err...wish me luck!

Comments

  • Paul, I urge you to carry out a full risk assessment, and have the assessment checked by a reliable third party, before trying this.
  • PACPAC
    edited January 2016
    The well known phrase "More tea Vicar" last night was replaced with "More yoghurt Father?" and there as a great deal of stifled whimpering....never again.  I'm waiting for the taste-bud police to come and arrest me for unnecessary cruelty.   Crasher's Theorem, I can state with some degree of confidence, is not especially applicable to curries  8-}   :-&   8-X
  • When you've recovered, I must set up a Grudge Match between you and Samantha, a friend of mine who always complains there's never enough chilli :-)
  • Just pleased you're still with us after that experiment!
  • uglymusic said:
    When you've recovered, I must set up a Grudge Match between you and Samantha, a friend of mine who always complains there's never enough chilli :-)
    I defy anyone to munch their way through something which, whilst it may encourage with big bold flavour on first nibble, doesn't take long to impart a similar ambient temperature to that of the surface of the Sun!  In the circumstance that anyone decided to take that challenge, I would be only too happy to be completely chivalrous and offer them the whole concoction for my their delight  :D


    Suzy6toes said:
    Just pleased you're still with us after that experiment!

    I'm still here Suz but it was close run thing, touch and go....quite literally!
  • There is certainly a point where chilli passes a very sinister threshold.
    Your premeditated experience reminds me of an accidental overdose I inflicted on myself at a chilli festival last year. As well as an intense burning in my mouth that could not be washed away, I experienced very unpleasant physiological symptoms (my lips went into spasm), my bowels opened frantically within the hour, and I experienced mild hallucinations (unexpected and unwanted at the time, rather than necessarily unpleasant) after trying some chilli sauces. I tried several sauces in quick succession, so not sure which did the damage.
    It really was unlike anything I've experienced before. Not sure if it was the quantity of chilli or the type (some chilli-skunk perhaps...?)
    Is there any evidence of long-term effects of health of heavy chilli use? It really does appear to be crazy stuff.
  • It looks like a definite maybe;

    http://www.livescience.com/16556-spicy-food-fatal-chili-peppers.html

    I like hot food but my wife enjoys much hotter. Even she was "taken out" by a remarkably hot little fella, can't remember the type but it caused extreme burning and she passed out!
  • Chillis are high in concentrations of capsicum oil (Capsaicin being in the highest concentration), an example of a chemesthetic agent produced by the plant in protection against attack by some insects and animals and as a defence against fungi.  It also lies within the family of Solanaceae family (which includes the Nightshade family of plants).  

    I've read a fair few medical papers which suggest that as well as being an effective topical local analgesic (many creams use it) it may have other health benefits, but if high pungency varieties, with subjectively high SCU ratings are over indulged in, it can induce nausea, vomiting and  diarrhoea.  Any other reaction such as blistering of skin or even hallucinations are thought to be the bodies reaction (in the case of blistering, it's nerve reaction) all of which differ for each person, so not everyone will be equally affected.  Chillis are also high in vitamins A, B and C and high in some minerals. I suspect Ben that if you'd had too much, it would just be the body's nervous reaction rather than any poisoning and from what I understand, there's certainly no long term negative effects of regular consumption, in fact quite the opposite!
  • It was potential long term effects that I was considering... As I will have eaten a lot of chilli over the course of my lifetime. Sounds like I'm in the clear. :-) I like it that chillies turn out to be one of natures non-lethal weapons - merely uncomfortable / painful, and not actually dangerous (I.e. not at all like alcohol, tobacco or asbestos).
  • PAC said:


    uglymusic said:

    When you've recovered, I must set up a Grudge Match between you and Samantha, a friend of mine who always complains there's never enough chilli :-)

    I defy anyone to munch their way through something which, whilst it may encourage with big bold flavour on first nibble, doesn't take long to impart a similar ambient temperature to that of the surface of the Sun!  In the circumstance that anyone decided to take that challenge, I would be only too happy to be completely chivalrous and offer them the whole concoction for my their delight  :D



    I'll point her in this direction and see if she's as mad about hot food as you.

  • More than happy to pass the recipe along Dave :-B
  • Only if you supply the chillis and asbestos gloves!
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