Naga..the Grudge match!
Wish me luck folks...
I'm going in and to hell with the consequences!
This time I've doubled the Naga content as I'm using the theory derived from a story learnt in my early motorbiking days.
This story is about a man called "Crasher", a BSA riding lunatic who's sole objective was to crack a ton on the North Circular at every opportunity irrespective of traffic. He'd often be seen at his local caff', plastered up or on crutches, the result of what he called "Crasher's Theorem" or "CT" for short. (probably where "CT scan" later was derived from...ahem).
When asked why, he replied along the lines that if someone pulls out in front of you and you brake, then you compress the front suspension, hit the car and likely cave your skull in....WHEREAS...if you crack the throttle open wide when faced with a "puller-outer-in-fronter" chances are you'll be thrown clear.
When it was pointed out to the hapless Crasher that he was on crutches with his leg in plaster to his knee, he replied "see...it works!!!...otherwise I'd have been a gonner when that Morris minor pulled out driven by a little old lady". (Who it seems was later treated for shock at the sight of a grinning maniac cartwheeling over her bonnet).
Anyhow, one day, Crasher wasn't at the caff' at his usual place and when the waitress was asked, she said that he'd been in an accident, a serious one. He'd entered a roundabout on the North circular after having his BSA Gold Flash restored from the Morris Minor prang, when riding like a nut job, a pretty little Vespa. festooned with wing mirrors and sporting a skinny "Mod" in the pilots seat unwisely wobbled into Crasher's path. With a wicked glint in his eye, he cracked the throttle open....and...well, Crasher is no longer with us. Point is, I reckon he had something in that theory of his.
Therefore, this evening, I have gone from using one little incendiary fruit pod named the "Norfolk Naga" to two in the sincere belief that instead of leaping about the kitchen in pain if I rub an eye or lick a finger after chopping said wicked shrivelled little lump up, and later remark over polite conversation with our visitors that "my, isn't this a little spicy!?" (as steam vents from every orifice), then using two will negate the burning stage completely and bring me straight to total paralysis of the taste buds...and anything else that happens to come into contact with such a nutritious meal. I am confident that this approach is the way to go, but...err...wish me luck!
Comments
Your premeditated experience reminds me of an accidental overdose I inflicted on myself at a chilli festival last year. As well as an intense burning in my mouth that could not be washed away, I experienced very unpleasant physiological symptoms (my lips went into spasm), my bowels opened frantically within the hour, and I experienced mild hallucinations (unexpected and unwanted at the time, rather than necessarily unpleasant) after trying some chilli sauces. I tried several sauces in quick succession, so not sure which did the damage.
It really was unlike anything I've experienced before. Not sure if it was the quantity of chilli or the type (some chilli-skunk perhaps...?)
Is there any evidence of long-term effects of health of heavy chilli use? It really does appear to be crazy stuff.
http://www.livescience.com/16556-spicy-food-fatal-chili-peppers.html
I like hot food but my wife enjoys much hotter. Even she was "taken out" by a remarkably hot little fella, can't remember the type but it caused extreme burning and she passed out!